Money Man

"I think there's some money somewhere in this desk," Eugene (Peterson) Trofimenko, Financial Aid Director at MB Biblical Seminary said to thin air. "I know if I keep looking hard enough that we can find some spare change."
Peterson-Trofimenko has been known to search high and low, near and far, for any amount of money to put into the coffers of students at MBBS.
"Yeah, dude, it's my job," Peterson-Trofimenko added.
While there may be more money in crazy places like banks and other lending establishments, Peterson-Trofimenko has been known to think outside of the box, or push the envelope, in hopes of securing funding for students.
According to an unnamed source deep within the administration building at the MB Biblical Seminary (Nancy Williams, Administrative Assistant and -- alleged -- super secret agent for governmental affairs involving fictional hocus pocus in educational circles) Peterson-Trofimenko has been seen hovering over small holes in the grass at the seminary at odd times during the day.
"Oh yeah, I saw him the other day with a small gardening trowel digging as if his life depended on it," remarked the unnamed source named Nancy. "I took a picture of it for proof."

Suitcase Seminary

"I love my current ministry and my wife has a great job here in town," said Jorge, a fictitious youth pastor, in a recent interview that occurred only in this reporters' mind. "I've been thinking about going to seminary for a couple of years, but we just aren't ready or willing to leave here.
"It seems, well, odd, that most seminaries say 'Why don't you quit your current job in ministry and come to seminary so that we can train you for ministry and help you find a different job in a different town."
With a new program dubbed Degree from a Distance, MB Biblical Seminary hopes to serve Jorge and people like him in places like Kansas, Oklahoma and South Dakota by allowing them to receive a Master of Arts in Christian Ministry in four years without moving to an MBBS location. By traveling only three weeks per year and supplementing those sessions with online courses, students can complete a degree without the hassle of calling U-Haul.
"Sweet," added Jorge. "I heard about this program by looking on the real seminary website, and it looked good. Who knows, someday I might decide to move to an MBBS location and plug into that community, but for now, I'll work on it from my hometown."

MB Biblical Seminary Names Mascot

Squirrels and other small rodents scrambled for their lives as a Red Tailed Hawk soared over the lush campus of MB Biblical Seminary recently.
The squawk of the hawk could be heard from the Mission Court Apartments, to the upper reaches of the Administrative House and the small corners of the faculty offices in the North Wing as MBBS'ers hailed the school's new mascot.
"I heard it like a voice crying in the wilderness," Academic Dean Lynn Jost did not say. "I looked out my window and saw it soaring above the fountain in the rose garden. It looked me in the eye and I could feel it warning me not to ride my bike to work anymore unless I wanted to feel its talons crush my helmet and mess up my hair."
(Jost has not been seen riding his bike to work during July, which makes this reporter think...Watch Out!)
Several years ago the fountain in the seminary rose garden was built to accommodate a mascot of the soaring sort, but until the spring of 2007 no such mascot was found suitable. (Legend has it that one bald eagle was offered the post but turned it down when it wasn't offered an air conditioned perch in the big ol' mansion on campus.)
The mascot has yet to be named.
Sembits is seeking input on the name of our new mascot.

Seminary Welcomes Circus

With a colorful canvas thrown atop the Hiebert Library, MBBS welcomed the Dead Authors and Pesky Pests Circus to campus recently. Various animals and authors jockeyed for position to witness displays of strength, agility and flat out freaky weirdness.
Rumor has it that inside the big tent Karl Barth could be seen swinging from the trapeze while Friedrich Schleiermacher sold peanuts to the dusty crowd of authors packed into rows on shelves. This reporter, however, can neither verify or denounce said rumors since admission was limited to patron saints of libraries and pests. (Little did the pests know that this circus would be their last...)

St. Theresa of Avila and St. John of the Cross prayed for the sanctity of events within.

On Assignment!

This roving reporter is out of here!
I've been sent on assignment to the rough north woods of Canada.
Fret not, dear friends, I will return to chronicle the most important of details, both true and not so true, at MBBS.
This is a picture of somewhere really pretty that I found on the internet -- it has nothing to do with MBBS or my upcoming reporting assignment.
Peace Out.

Academic Excellence

MB Biblical Seminary student (and President of the 2007/2008 Student Leadership Team) Benjamin T. Schmidt recently threw himself wholeheartedly into the classroom in yet another odyssey of learning. Schmidt routinely surrounds himself with the best theological word smiths, a state-of-the-art laptop computer and a cup of Kirkland's finest coffee as he sharpens his mind and faith in the pursuit of enlightenment.
"I'm drinking deeply at the fountain of knowledge," Schmidt commented in a recent interview that never actually occurred. "I want to leap through the window of opportunity that I have at MBBS and land with my feet on the ground, brush the broken glass out of my hair and keep drinking from that fountain," Schmidt never actually said.